#I just want to exist as me
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Having some mixed feelings on today. On one hand I had many really lovely moments. My boyfriend and I took one of our cats for a fall walk in the cat stroller and ended up at a park with coffee and a waffle. Then I got some alone time to read when my bf saw a friend. And I went on a dinner date with my crush who was so sweet and funny. But the staff at the restaurant we went to were rude to us, trying to rush us out in a way they didn’t do to anyone else. With them rushing us we were at the restaurant for less than 30 min which just feels weird to me. I was the only Black person in the restaurant and we were the only queer couple. I love my life and how I look but often people treat me worse for being visibly trans / queer and Black.
#like the people who matter to me love me and that’s most important#but stuff like this makes me sad#I just want to exist as me#polyamory#queer community#t4t
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.
#animation#animated film#animated movies#across the spiderverse#across the spider-verse#spiderverse#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots 2#nimona#nimona film#yes i'm posting this specifically because i just watched nimona and am feeling all kinds of things but really these are all PEAK TIER#the fact they have ALL been released within 7 months of each other...like...woah we are thriving right now#stylised animation with its own unique style reflecting the movie i love you forever kissing you on the mouth#films that make me ferally rip up any and all art blocks to shreds#and that's just the animation side of things#i won't get started on the plots. they also make me want to bounce off of walls#hugging all these close to my chest#as well as all the other great animated movies that exist because animation wins all catergories for me always#(let's not forget anime movies either; y'all are beautiful too! keeping 2d animation alive and i'm so here for it)
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trigunned the hades or hadesed the trigun (id in alt)
#trigun#trigun maximum#nicholas d wolfwood#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#millions knives#ruporas art#type of shit ive been on lately bc ive been playing an obsessive amount of hades 2 lmfao… ofc imstead of drawing fansrt for hades#i channel that energy into trigun?😭 SEE.. the thing is. i am ALWAYS thinking about a trigun game… like an action story game#it is rotating in my brain 24/7 and now after 7billion years i finally pick up a video game#and the inspiration sparked. obviously this is just a mere mimic of an existing media... but im thinking about the plot of max now#executed differently between mediums… webbing a new retelling of the original story as game mechanics allows you - thinking of the#new roles the characters would take. like wolfwood here is not Constantly by vash’s side but he will show up once a run to clear out an#encounter. shows up seldomly at home base to make gifting difficult... an existing companion and still journeys on his own. for more#relations options merylmilly will also have occasions where they separate so vash can speak to them individually - the gungho are not bosse#most of them get the roles of giving “boons” i think.. BUT ANYWAY thats me reimagining trigun into hades. now imagining trigun into an#ORIGINAL video game.... ough... ohhh....guhh... I WANT IT SO BAD!!!!!!!!#this was just a fun exercise... im thinking about doing more but i think i shouldactually draw some hades 2 fanart first
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I think one of the funniest things about the Sabzeruz event is that the devs choose to go with Candace, Traveler, and Paimon having a whole "Ooh, two mysterious men are going into an alley to have a 'private' conversation; they must be bad guys!" only to then go "Oh just kidding, it was only Alhaitham and Kaveh doing typical Alhaitham and Kaveh things."
Except the "Alhaitham and Kaveh" thing in question this time was talking about Mehrak, a sentient robot that Kaveh built using absolutely forbidden technology, and which he then whole-heartedly willed would develop a consciousness of its own, violating one of the central taboos of his nation's governing agency, committing what amounts to an inherent and extreme felony punishable by law.
Alhaitham and Kaveh: Listen, we're not bad guys discussing illegal activity here. We're just two men having a private, personal conversation. Happens all the time.
Paimon, Candace, and Traveler: Oh cool, they're not doing a crime; they're just gay.
But they were, in fact, doing a crime.
#genshin impact#alhaitham#kaveh#haikaveh#kavetham#mehrak#I still can't get over how Kaveh is friends with the chief of police#and living with the former Acting Grand Sage#and Tighnari had to completely hide Karkata's existence with ARSON to get rid of the evidence#but everyone in the entirety of Sumeru just said#ya know#let's let Kaveh have this one#and no one blinks an eye at Mehrak#who is obviously capable of reasoning and rational thought at this point#Light of Kshahrewar is truly the favorite#everyone in Sumeru has one exception#and that exception is Kaveh#let's be real#the reason no one is saying shit about Mehrak#is no one wants to deal with Scribe “I overthrow the government when people displease me” Alhaitham#bro really said “Upset Kaveh at your own peril”#“Only I'M allowed to upset him”#the last people who made Kaveh sad have been sentenced to living in caves and subsisting off mushrooms for the rest of their lives#and this was seen as mercy on Alhaitham and Cyno's part
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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Revisiting the conversation you can have with Gale about Halsin’s proposition. I think it should be worse.
#bg3 fanart#bg3 gale#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#gale x tav#tav x gale#bg3 tav#bg3 comic#oc: asena#Halsin dropping the bit about him potentially participating is so important to me#Asena was so excited about watching her boyfriend get fucked#that for a moment she lived in a world where feelings of inadequacy didn’t exist#she just wanted to offer to make her man a sandwich in which he was the meat#Asena and Mystra both say ‘I want that man annihilated’ but their meanings could not be more opposite
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Learning to accept support
#A sequence of drawings I made back in march but that im still proud of#It was drawn in an incredibly scattered manner throughout a page of existing sketches - i tried to crop out and erase most of the mess haha#i just really wanted to explore some post story emotions... mira and sif having an emotional accountability convo that isa joins in on#I did have an idea for the dialogue here but i think you can infer it pretty easily from the expressions#sasasap true ending got me pretty hard last night so this felt appropriate to post. isafrinbelle support group. qpr propoganda#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat#in stars and time#isat postgame#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau
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YOU MANIFESTED THE TWEEL CARDS CONGRATS
YOU'RE WELCOME EVERYBODY!
seriously though I was probably like. 60-80% thinking we'd get at least one tweel for chapter 10. but I was NOT expecting it so soon! both of 'em! in August! a shame we're not getting a Coral Sea event after all...but I guess I can be resigned to that and ALSO excited for getting shiny sparkly glowing(!!!!) mertwins along with Azul fighting his inner demons and going right for the eyes! AHHHH I CAN'T WAIT
(also heeeey I recognize that rowboat... 👀)
#art#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 10 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 10 spoilers#omg they're real#hey twst as long as you're pandering directly to me#che'nya card for riddle's chapter??????#it's not going to happen. but. WHAT IF#anyway i suppose they could get this one out a bit faster since the tweel sprites already exist#let's hope for a non-ob octozul cameo too! 🤞#as much as i want to see him though i do think it would be extremely funny if his dream were just#everything's the same in the coral sea except he's in human form the entire time#no real reason he just feels like it#chapter 10 though! the hype!#floyd is one of the characters i can't even begin to imagine what his dream might be#(the other one is ace) (i got a couple theories for him but floyd i just have NO idea)#i know it might just be for the diptych but i am VERY intrigued by the implication that the twins might be having the same dream#they're both dreaming about the time they teamed up to ruin some couple's cute rowboat date#and you know what. i believe it.
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my predictions for the end of book 7
EDIT: part two here
#please yana let this happen it would be so fucking funny#twst#twst overblot gang#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#idia shroud#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#riddle rosehearts#I might just write this fanfic anyway if it doesn’t happen#which it probably won’t? the teams pretty good at throwing curveballs at me#either way. just needed this image to exist#how are we feeling about how I did azuls skin?#I wanted it to look more like his merform-the humanization potion can only do so much kinda thing#and MOST of his outfits have him fully covered#so if we ignore his beachwear we can pretend as though this is true
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something something luigi doesn't remember the final events of spm or dimentio at all after he's defeated (but mario remembers everything)
#super mario bros#super paper mario#smb#spm#dreamyart#i have a lot of thoughts about luigi having amnesia afterward and mario knowing and remembering vividly exactly what happened#like he has vague memories of bleck's crew but just as he knew them as Luigi and not as he knew them as L y'know? plus they're still around#but dimentio is Gone gone and idk maybe his floro sprout sapped his memory of him entirely something like that#i also just think bc dimentio is a weird little interdimensional being he definitely still exists Somewhere#and just wants to torment luigi with visions lol#AND i just think weege has weird vivid dreams anyway thanks dream team can we take this guy to a sleep study#this all severely fucks mario up right like i saw you turn into the antichrist and what do you mean you have no idea what i'm talking about#i saw this little freak brainwash you and force me to fight you. and luigi's just like. Huh. What. No way that happened ur pullin my leg#i dunno i have many thoughts okay byee
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one thing about steve harrington is that he sucks at doing nothing. like he has to be doing something with himself lest the guy waste away. this has led to him being very good at fucking around with things especially when its something relatively quiet. the loudest steve will let himself keep his hands busy while stuck idle is tossing whatever's in his hand to himself and catching it, which usually bodes well for sports practice after coach learned that just because he was moving didnt mean he wasnt paying attention(usually the opposite).
he learned how to flip a pencil around his thumb in middle school and seeing someone in one of the meetings he sat in on doing it. he'll twirl anything he can around in his hand, especially while he was working in the mall. the scoopers were perfect for it. and any way youve seen a drummer/percussionist fiddle with a drumstick, steve knew he had to replicate it.
but even with all this movement and the fact the guy was barely ever not moving, it seemed like no one noticed it ever. a fact that nearly drove eddie insane when they were in high school together. because he did have the reputation of being restless, and in a constant state of movement. and he probably fucked around with random shit less, so how did steve "the hair" harrington not end up with the same reputation? the answer was just that he was way more quiet("and sneaky" -eddie) about it. and if the teacher hated when their students fiddled and futzed he'd be sure to try and keep the movement below his desk.
but it not that he only has to keep his hands busy. no no no, if bored or stuck waiting, and that won't suffice, steve harrington will pick up anything with words just to read it. anything. outdated newspapers, ingredients lists, magazines of any topic. he just mindlessly grabs for whatever and starts fucking reading. Robin could swear under oath to a court that her best friend has read the back of every vhs in family video. hell, she's seen him reading drugstore novels, like the fucking grandma smut and books with cover art of nicely dressed ladies running from a castle. and its her jock best friend reading it, instead of some repressed suburban woman who hates her husband. yes, this information is the bane of robin buckley's exsistance because its not like anyone would believe her.
idk just give me steve being restless but doing it quietly enough that no one really picks up on it.
#listen we've all seen the gifs of steve messing around with the scooper in s3 or him doing the same thing with a flashlight in s2#and i was like ok what if i added to that? and what if when hes waiting hes reaches blindly for something to read?#and steve reading drugstore bodice ripper novels is something i can't unsee and i needed to share it#steve harrington#stranger things#robin buckley#platonic stobin#she's so done with his shit(affectionate).#eddie munson#steddie#not exactly. but like eddie being pissed off about steve existing is kinda just shorthand for a crush atp#the party will bust into family video and steve is just reading the back of a bag of an m&ms#am i projecting? a little but we've seen this in canon so extrapolation cant hurt.#if you want real projecting ask me about my headcanon about steve and manga#headcannons
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AU where the justice league finds out that Captain Marvel is homeless. Not Billy, they still have no idea about the captain's secret identity, but the Captain.
Maybe they were discussing a case or something, and he says something that is just a little too knowledgeable. Something only someone who has been there would know. He tries to backtrack when he realizes that he said too much, tries to explain that getting a job and an apartment is hard when you do hero work which doesn't pay (and hopes they don't find out the real reason he can't get a job is because no one will hire a kid).
The league comes to the conclusion the reason he is so secretive about his identity is because he is ashamed he is homeless. Naturally, everyone immediately feels super bad about this and tries to help him much to his dismay.
Identity shenanigans ensue.
#dc comics#dc#billy batson#captain marvel dc#shazam#the justice league#dc universe#dc captain marvel#my post#does this exist yet? If so please tell me#I feel like Clark pulls him aside and is like “hey buddy no need to be ashamed even heroes need help sometimes!”#and batman is like “....Wayne enterprise is always hiring literally anyone”#(and then because he is a little obsessed with figuring out billy's identity he keeps checking new job applicants for a match.)#Billy just wants everyone to please stop looking so closely into his secret identity
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idk, i just feel like if your primary argument against transandrophobia/antitransmasculinity theory is that you think it's transmisogynistic you're not being intellectually honest. who does it hurt when trans men and mascs coin a term to describe the intersection of transphobia and sexism as it most frequently affects them? because it does hurt trans men when they're told that they're not entitled to speak on the discrimination they themselves face.
what I'm hearing from people who oppose the antitransmasculinity movement is that transmisogyny is when trans men talk about their problems 👍, but obviously that's not true. i know that's not true. you know that's not true. so then what is the issue? genuinely, enlighten me. you want trans men to shut up and listen? I'm listening.
#transandrophobia#anti transmasculinity#trans#transgender#maybe whacking a hornets nest but I'm really frustrated#it just makes no sense#how one can in the same breath be upset by tmascs “derailing” discussions about tmisogyny to discuss their own issues#and then also condemn tmascs for creating their own space specifically to discuss their issues#so as not to step on the toes of the (minority group of) transfems who insist our very existence is owed to them#as though we have not literally existed just as long#pedestalizing an already hypervisible group#vs shutting down a historically hypovisible group#effectively doing the terfs' work for them by dividing us when we should be one another's strongest allies#how is that fair to either of us#this does not help trans women#if you think it is you're lying to yourself idk !#antitransmasculinity#transemasculation#<- fucking hate that term btw#miss me with that shit#that's not what this is at all#transphobia#transmisandry#transandromisia#transandrodorks#transandrobro#tmra#<- tagging these because i do in fact want the people who use these terms derogatorily to see this post#i will not be debating anyone i just want to see what people have to say i guess
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Side effects of wearing your sentient Kaiju suit too often ,,,,
#hoshina soshiro#kn8#kaiju no. 8#my art#kaiju no 10#hoshi10#FINALLY I GOT TO DRAW BODYMERGE HOSHI10#this is my favourite form of existence for them my brain is spinninnggggg#it's so sexy to me to imagine hoshina trying to take off the suit and he just can't get it off without peeling his own skin off shcjsnfjs#10 so pleased with this situation#hoshina panic but also he cant tell anyone becazse then they'd definitely take 10 away from him#and we don't want that#brain spinning so hsrd i hope he curls up in his room and hides while the suit slowly merges ro his body#until one of his boyfriends finds him ofc hhhhh#rushing him to medical but they can't change him back to human anymore#can you see I've been thinking about this ancjsixbsia#I'll see myself out
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